#i really hope this is at least readable i really wanted to write you something as a kind of congratulation present

[i-drink-pilk]

I was scrolling through twitter when I went to check what was trending and saw this

(Translation in alt text, I hope)

I decided to click on it, because i was intrigued, and it was all links to YouTube videos with the same lady on the thumbnail

I went on to the profile (all the posts were of the some account)

And then I saw the post numbers. Wow!

It was at this point I decide to google her name.

https://www.flashback.org/t2043973 (Link to a Swedish forum thread discussing her)

Apparently she's been here for a while (at least 2012). Clicking on the link to the website takes you to a website filled with her YouTube videos (the channel of which she hasn't uploaded to in 7 years). The videos all start with her saying "Hej! Goda nyheter!" (Hey! Good news!) in a thick accent (presumably polish). The comments to the videos are all in polish as well. The website has a lot of "pages" (or whatever) that all have text about the ego's energy and construction.

Clicking on them and looking at the website link "reveals" what they are for. From left to right, first is the home page. It has a warning about how the owner of the website hasn't logged in for 6 months, and a contact form. The right side of the page has text saying "Välkommen" (welcome) "Barbara Santana #END" and links to her Facebook and twitter. It also has a box to write in your email in, with a clickable box saying subscribe on it (Newsletter). This stays on every page.

The next page, "fotogalleri" (photo gallery) includes an image (below.) and text reading "EARTH EGOT´S PROGRAM WITH HUMAN ROBOTS CEASES TO EXIST #END". Under are 6 YouTube videos and another box to subscribe and a form to contact her. On the top of the page is text reading (translated) "ENERGY PERFECT DISSOLVES EARTHS PROGRAMS"

The next page, "processen" (the process) has top text reading (translated again) "EXISTENCE IN THE EGO'S ENERGY PROGRAM". Text under it reads (T (for translated. I'm using it it's not part of the text)) "WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU UNDER THE PROCESS" with the same message about earths ego as seen in the photo gallery. It has one video and a rectangle with black outlines.

The next page, "egot" (the ego) has top text reading (T) "ENERGY PERFECT DISSOLVES THE EGOS CONSTRUCTION" and the same earth ego text as seen before. it has three videos.

The next page, "kontakt" (contact) has the earth ego text (again) and a contact form.

The next page, now outside of the grey bar the others were contained in, is "hur upplöses egostrukturen" (how is the ego structure dissolved) has top text reading (T) "ENERGY PERFECT DISSOLVES THE EGOS PROGRAM". It has three videos, between the first and the second the earth ego message is present. At the bottom is another contact form, with text on top reading (T) "You can contact me through the form below (online)."

The last page, "vad som händer med dig" (what happens to you) has top text reading (T) "ENERGY PERFECT DISSOLVES THE EGO'S EXISTENCE". Under it it says "#THEEND". There are 5 videos and the earth ego message is after the first. At the bottom is a contact form and three symbols, "h3>".

That is everything on the website, besides watching the videos, which I'm not doing. End of post.

[banj0possum]

Zombie Horde x AMAB transfem/gn reader who is working to find a cure for the zombie epidemic?

Like I was imagining reader works in a lab that is then overrun, and reader attempts to flee the horde or secretly continue their experiments when they aren’t looking.

Eventually maybe reader gets used to it and decides to take advantage of the “willing” and (usually) non-violent test subjects.

Love ur work btw <3

i havent given you guys your dose of zombie bitches lately so here ya go <3 this can be also be read as gn maybe

Zombie Horde x MtF!Reader Who's Looking for a Cure

CW: i will make you sob at the end istg, a bit of ewuh body stuff

💀 You've been trying to find a cure ever since the first wave of the epidemic, but the virus spread so quickly that you had to halt your research and flee the city, getting in your car after loading all your equipment and supplies in the trunk and driving off.

💀 Now, after just a few months, you were living in a symbiotic relationship with the very things you swore to destroy. At that point, you've forgotten all about the cure, thinking that there was no more hope on this earth for rehabilitation.

💀 But while lying down in your zombie husband pile at night, the idea sparked in your brain yet again, making you sit up, Ribs' head falling from your shoulder, waking him up.

💀 "S-sorry! So sorry Hun! Uhm..I gotta get something!" You pat Ribs' head before stumbling out of your bed, careful not to trip over the others. Bo blinks a bit before getting up and following you.

💀 You hear a low purr behind you as you were putting on your jacket and backpack and see Bo with a pleading, sleepy face. please come back..it's cold... you could imagine him saying. You chuckle and give him a kiss on the nose. "I'll be back, I promise!" and you run off outside to the parking lot.

💀 You retrieve your supplies from your old car, it's dusty and a bit dirty but the papers you've written were still readable.

💀 You carry the box of stuff back with you, Screw and Soda waiting for you and cocking their heads at the sight of their little mate carrying a box full of tubes and paper.

💀 The horde curiously watches you search through the papers, sometimes writing things down. You mumble soft words they didn't understand whilst looking over two or more papers.

💀 Eventually, you circle a string of letters and numbers and you hold your head in your hands with wide eyes, Screw crawls up to you cooing and you turn to him with the biggest smile on your face.

💀 "I think I got it.."

💀 He cocks his head with a chirp.

💀 "I have the cure..."

💀 You would've never considered it, but with your new discovery of visible consciousness in infected subjects, brain recovery and even bodily recovery can be possible, you just had to find a solution that can increase the body's constructive systems.

💀 You would forge for materials far beyond where you usually searched and would meet up with other survivors to exchange goods in order to conduct your research.

💀 Of course, your husbands were willing to help you, once you told them about your plan, they were so happy! Flesh like yours? Count us in! Ribs especially wants to help; he very much wants his torso back...

💀 The first tests weren't very fruitful but gave interesting results, one experiment with Bo included an injection to his arm, which made his heart beat for a few seconds before slowing and stopping like it was before.

💀 You would also see signs of growth, both Screw and Soda's wounds would appear to be healing themselves.

💀 After a few months of experimentation, you were starting to give up, the boys' wounds and lost body parts being unable to grow back.

💀 It was alright for you though, you never really expected to find the cure so easily, and you weren't sure if it could even work on other zombies.

💀 At least the boys looked a bit better than before though, their hair could grow like a human's and their limps were gone, their joints rejuvenated and no longer rigid, allowing them to move like a normal human and not a living corpse.

💀 You thought that was all that you got from your experiments when..

💀 "(Y-Y/N)?"

💀 That...voice? It sounds familiar somehow...

💀 "Babygirl? Can you hear me?" the voice says again, it was gruff with a bit of a southern accent.

💀 "That's not her name!" Another voice, more higher pitched that the first.

💀 "It's a nickname Ribs!" One quietly says.

💀 Your neck almost snaps at the speed you turned back.

💀 "Uhm..hey there babes.." Bo says awkwardly.

💀 Looks like their vocal chords grew back too...

[wherewisteriaends]

It really took me 24 hours to realize something. It's not that the ending is a bad ending. I mean, take us back a week ago. We all said that their kiss would be the kiss of death. We all predicted that Agatha would sacrifice herself for Teen. We also saw that the Road was it was very probable that Billy or Agatha (turned out both) could have created the road. If we all thought it, that says something and that is this ending made sense. So why are we all so angry ? Because even if it was an ending that made sense, they didn't write it in a way that it would make sense. And I'm not saying we didn't get a redemption arc when we should have. I don't think Agatha should have had a redemption arc. However we should at least have had her accepting Death as the end. And also her bonding with Teen. Because yes she has bonded with him but clearly not the point of choosing to die because he mentions Nicky. Which seriously, this sentence made no sense, gave absolute no explanations. Another major issue is the dynamic between Agatha and Rio. Them in episode 8 has nothing to do with all we saw before. It really feels like something happened that we missed or like the story was different. What they showed us of Nicky was beautiful, also doesn't explain Agatha and Rio dynamic in 8 while 8 makes the conflict all about Nicky. Apart from the grave, the whole scene in Agatha's basement was ridiculous. When Agatha is in Teen house, he doesn't act at all like he wants to kill her. And all of sudden he wants to banish her. I'm serious, they fucked up the relationship dynamics and developments. Same goes for Jennifer. She makes it out of road and she doesn't even search for Teen ? Because that would be the best reaction for someone who just said she wasn't letting anyone die under her watch again and that doesn't know Teen is behind her torture. Again, at the opposite of the development we saw of Jennifer. And Billy, which his portrayal is completely chaotic since episode 6. One time when Agatha comes out of the mud he appears like he wants to see her dead. Then in 8 he trusts her with his life all over again. And don't get me started of the nonsense of Billy in episode 9. And no I'm not a Billy hater, but they certainly write him as an inconstant character that obviously results in him being mistrusted by the viewers. Also what pisses me off is that Lilia's ending was perfect, and even Alice sour departure was beautifully handled. Which adds even more to it the sense of ruin.

And there was strong dialogue, strong acting skills in those two last episodes, beautiful scenes on screen. But it still doesn't make sense. I solemnly thank the actors for their portrayal, I thank the whole production team, makeup, costumes, light, cut, sets, everything because this was by far one of the best MCU projects - if not the best. And I doubt it's someone fault for what happened with the last episodes. SO PLEASE DON'T GO HATING ON PEOPLE. Please, think of your own humanity, and even if media make it very easy to succumb to hate, no one is responsible, no one deserves your hate for their part into the production of a show. What gives me a bit of hope is that they were so much left untold that it is possible we get a season 2 or other projects centered around Agatha or Jennifer or other witches. And because there was so much blur, we, as writer and reader, can see the opportunity to partake into a fiction we all so loved. So don't give up on Agatha All Along just yet and see a bit of the bright side. And because, the MCU ethics seriously should be questioned, wait on me, I will come with an essay down the line. And if I do and if you think it's worth readable, I'll send it to Marvel teams.

[lowkeyrobin]

hey! i liked your writing! could you write something about fuckshit and the reader preparing for exams? it's kinda boring, but i really need it right now. you can make it short. honestly whatever you want, feel free. thanks!

🔋

yeah sure! ; I just recently had exams as well and it was not fun 😭🙏 ; I rushed this a bit because I wanted to get it out for you but yeah lol ; also welcome 🔋! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy :) ; I decided to put this in hc form because it was easier and I didn't have motivation to make this a whole ass readable oneshot LOL

FUCKSHIT ; exam prep

summary ; studying for exams with fuckshit

warnings ; language, mentions of weed, sexual jokes, making out, pet names (baby & babe)

word count ; 362

l/f/c = least favorite subject

masterlist

you were supposed to be helping each other study for exams

you mostly struggled with l/f/s while he was struggling awfully with biology/physical science

it was a struggle getting him to do anything LMFAOOO

"what function do ribosomes serve in the cell?"

he's just sitting there staring at you like 😒😐

"fuckshit"

"what??? oh my god, I dunno"

"just guess"

he's got the biggest attitude ever....

"to fuck you? dude i don't know"

"how are you a junior in high school again?"

yall get a little... distracted for a minute (a half hour)

he's literally straddling your waist and making out with you on his bed

he smells so rank but you couldn't care in that moment (the weed smell gets you sometimes let's be real)

you're massaging his scalp as he's straight up bruising your lips with how hard he's kissing you

one, he loves you and is addicted to you

two, he doesn't wanna study and is trying to distract you

his hands are EVERYWHERE trying to just make out with you

plus he's relieving your stress so... win win situation

anyway, back to studying...

afterwards, he's more compliant (much more high as well)

he's probably not gonna pass again but it's fine

you definitely are though, you're like a wizard or something

"damn, you're a fucking nerd"

"don't start"

"okay smartass"

"okay dumbass"

yall r doing anything but studying let's be so honest

when u are though... it's serious

he's a lot more focused while high so he can actually get shit done

for a while it's just silence while looking over notes and then he'll start staring at you all focused

he's admiring you, trust me

"what does this mean?" just to talk to you

"they rotate around each other at a specific speed"

"thank you, baby"

rests his head on your shoulder while he's reading over boring notes

"babe, what's the difference between prokaryotes and eukaryotes again?"

you spend 20 mins hyping each other up with music

like the stereo is blaring and you're dancing and jumping all around the room

you have to bribe him with kisses and weed to finish the last page of notes he had to go over

but it ended up alright

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

ok here i go full hc prompt🥳🤩🤩

m6 in the ✨✋Future🤚✨ or at least to them, relatively, from their medievaissance-y mixed bag nonspecified time period to something resembling our times! i personally like to consider it still Their World, fictional, which just progressed to look like ours now (it literally makes zero difference to anybody except the inner machinations of my annoying ass but yeah ifykyk) basically yknow shooting a medieval peasant into 2023 & giving him mountain dew type beat

The Arcana HCs: M6 in the Future

~ @tetsuooooooooooo this was so much fun, thank you for sending it in and I hope you enjoy these!! ~

-- for headcanon purposes, MC is from the future and is tasked with taking care of M6 during their 24 hours there --

Julian

It takes him less than two minutes to figure out where (read: when) he is and his response is nothing short of enthusiastic

Please, he's been around the world, and he's got a delightful guide, and he really, really wants to know if his theories about leeches ended up being correct

He actually gets a little emotional when a quick google search shows him how wrong he was and you end up having to take him exploring to cheer him up and distract him from his failures

You have a really hard time explaining to him that clinics don't allow doctors without medical degrees to waltz in and observe random patients getting treatments

You take him to see a movie and he's transfixed

The screen is so big. The actor's faces are so clear. The drama is so much more than anything he could have imagined. And they come with music?? Hums the soundtrack for the rest of the day

If you show him that one version of Jurassic Park with Jeff Goldblum in it Julian will imitate him sporadically afterwards

Enjoys fast food way more than he should. Especially instant noodles. Will spend half an hour trying to pack some to take back

Fascinated by the concept of typing

You hit a button to make the next letter appear instead of writing it? But MC, this means that everything he wants to communicate through text could be easily readable. Imagine!

Freaks out a bit when you try to take him in a car. He's surprisingly comfortable in a metro, though, so you'll have to do with public transportation and bicycles

Oh yeah, he loves bicycles. He only crashed into three trees, a wall, and a stranger's parked car before getting the hang of it

He's convinced that earbuds don't actually play music, they just trick your brain into thinking that you can hear it

Almost exploded when you gave him coldbrew coffee

Asra

They know instantly that they're in a different version of reality. Sure, they've never traveled through time, but they've traveled through plenty of other dimensions

He's the least ruffled, and unfortunately, the least impressed. Don't get him wrong, this looks super cool, but this isn't any more otherworldly to him than the otherworldly places he's already been

Wants to go on a food tour immediately. Not the nice stuff though

No, they want the questionable food. The is-this-going-to-make-me-regret-existing food. The food that, if it was shown in an anime, would be pixelated and have threatening auras around it

So chill about what you tell him to do it's almost concerning

"Here Asra, climb into this four-wheeled hunk of metal that can travel over 100 miles an hour and hold yourself in with a single fabric strap while I pilot this through hundreds of other things just like it, driven by people we don't know and can't predict."

"Cool. Where do I put Faust?"

Don't tell them about edibles unless you want them to spend their day hunting some down and absolutely going to town on them

You swear you saw his hair stand on end the first time he tried popping candy

When you took them to get their radioactive meal (a.k.a. the closest fast food chain with the fewest ethical violations) they insisted on picking up one of every sauce packet to try them all

... and when he saw a nine-year-old mixing two different fountain drinks, he of course grabbed the largest cup available and went down the line so he could taste all of them at once too

You've never seen them this jittery and sugar high, so of course the next place to go is a trampoline park, with the bright lights and loud music and bodies hurtling through the air

He should not be getting the amount of air time that he does

Has a meltdown over modern fluffy blankets. They're so soft

Nadia

Gobsmacked. As in, she's a highly intelligent woman, and therefore able to really wrap her head around what she's seeing

The future!! She's in the future, Arcana help her

But she's got you and she adores you and she knows she can trust you so she's going to be okay. That said, start explaining. Now.

First things first: how's the infrastructure? She can't see any canals or aqueducts. Or fireplaces or lanterns, for that matter, what do you do for light? And cooking? (Cooking uses fire, right?)

Literally cannot walk past anything new without stopping to try to figure out how it works and if there's a way to recreate it herself

Bicycles on a rack? She's spinning the pedal and trying to figure out the balancing dynamics of two-wheeled movement

Almost lost it when she found out that it was possible to lift the hood of a car and look at the engine inside that makes it go. You decided to take her on public transportation instead

Which turned into all kinds of excited brainstorming about public carriages, and gondolas built for 20 people ferrying people along the aqueducts, and new and terrifying uses for the catacombs

Wasn't very impressed with the fashion she saw

She knows what good quality cloth looks like. This is a women who grew up in silks and fine linens, polyester does not impress her

Except for the stretchiness. She does like that

The perfume counter, on the other hand, takes up a good hour and a half of her time. She's smelled plenty of fine scents before, but she's never been in a shop where she could sniff so many at a time

This one smells like Prakra. This one smells like Vesuvia. This one smells like the beach. This one smells like the woods. This one ...

Yeah, it was an excellent opportunity to take a nap, if you're the napping sort. You wake up to her testing perfumes on you because she ran out of space on herself

Gets so frustrated when you explain your government setup to her

Muriel

Oh no, please be very gentle with him

He likes to live in the woods because it is peaceful and quiet and it's one place he doesn't stand out in

He stands out in this place very, very much and he doesn't like it

Refuses to leave the room he appeared in until his appearance is as unremarkable as possible (which is not easy to do, by the way, the man is a mountain. modern clothes in his size are hard to find)

Does not want to go in the car. It's way too fast and it makes him seasick when he closes his eyes to shut it out

Buses are somehow easiest - they feel the least claustrophobic when they're not crowded and it's rude to stare on them

You two end up going to a natural history museum in the middle of a weekday when hardly anybody is there, and he lights up

There are so many animals, and there are enough other people in the world who find those animals interesting that they gathered so much knowledge people had to make a building to hold it all

Has never heard evolutionary theory before and is fascinated by it

Once he starts talking, it's hard for him to stop

He's not being loud at all - you can only hear him so clearly because you two are holding hands so he can't lose you - but he's being quietly submerged in his own special interest and he loves it

He just wishes there weren't so many skeletons. But he's glad the species they belonged to aren't forgotten this way

Long story short, Muriel's inner Nerd is unleashed and he goes hoarse from the amount of murmuring he does all day

Does not like getting food in public. Does not like eating food in public. Does not like being publicly perceived. As soon as it gets into afternoon and it gets busy, he wants to go home

Which is where you show him what the internet is and he's in awe

People can work from home? People can make friends without leaving their house?? People can talk without being seen???

Portia

Spends five minutes hopping in place and squealing into her clothes to let out her nerves and excitement before you can decide what to do

Then insists on taking half an hour to hear you describe every single fun or interesting thing to do so she can make a list

Yes, she's determined to hit every single one in one day

First things first: food. Take her to a cafe and watch her sigh over all the baked goods and sugar-loaded caffeine beverages

Then (if there is one nearby) a mall, so she can see all the stuff that people buy so they can have the lifestyle they do. You have to drag her out of both Bath & Body Words and Bed, Bath, & Beyond

Please, it's full of fluffy fuzzy things and good smelling mystery goo, she wants to live in it also what do you mean "no stopping at the pet store", what even is a "pet store" -

Oh. OH -

You will have to physically pull her away before she adopts all the kittens. She does cry about it later, just a for a bit, they're so cute

Next is a library and cafe, of course, because she lives for books

This place is way bigger than the Palace library! The one in the Palace is just a large room, this is a whole building!! And people get to come here, whenever they want, just to read, for free?! What?!

You had to remind her about the "no loud noises in the library" rule several times. She's doing her best, she's just passionate

Completely demolishes her first chocolate croissant

Goes feral at the amusement park she has you take her to afterwards. This woman is an adrenaline fiend. You're cursing the pop up add for it by the fourth consecutive free fall ride

The only way to get her to leave is to tell her that one of her favorite stories was turned into a movie and that you'd have to go home to watch it. Don't take her to Target to get snacks. She'll disappear

Flicks the lightswitch 30 times in a row because she can

Lucio

He's immediately panicking. Not because he's in the future, no, but because of what it's done to his arm

It's changed. It's not running on magic any more. The only way to resolve his design is for it to be some kind of high-tech electrical prosthetic that even modern scientists would have difficulty with

Once he's adjusted to using it, you're good to go

Lights up like a firework the first time he rides in a car

MC. MC how fast does it go. MC that's a very high number. MC, he wants to drive. Please. Please! Pleeeaaaassssseeee

DO NOT LET HIM DRIVE.

Makes you pull over after seeing ads for Sephora because he's convinced that he could pull off that eye makeup even better

Tries every single makeup sampler and then gets offended when one of the poor employees suggests an anti-aging cream

Him? Aged?? How dare they - oh wait that really does brighten his eyes. He'll take ten, please, they're so small, they can't cost much -

You'll have to pull him out before he sees you use a credit card, because once he does he's going to keep asking to use it and you're not sure he understands why maxing it out is a bad thing

His arm does run out of battery at one point, which does cause some panic. All of a sudden he's stuck with a limp hunk of metal swinging from his shoulder, it's not ideal

You're able to find the retractable charging cable on the side and plug him in, but then he's stuck sitting in the same spot for two hours and a bored Lucio is a dangerous Lucio

There is a solution to this, of course. You can give him an iPad with games on it. He won't move a muscle after that

The caveat is that he will turn into an iPad kid and get glued to every single screen he sees afterwards. You don't know how to fix it

Falls in love with vending machines and tries Cheetos because the leopard on them looks cool. Develops an artificial cheese addiction

[rzyraffek]

OH OH REQUEST IDEA....TAKING SLASHERS HOME TO MEET YOUR PARENTS BECAUSE THATS LIKW SUPER SMART

Billy Micheal and Jason are the only ones i care about but you can add whoever

Omg hi!! Thanks for request!

They/them, sfw and request open

Slashers meeting s/o perents

Billy Lenz

Why would you do that

No fr why would anyone think this was good idea

Guy cant say a sentence without swear words or weird sex jokes😭

But fr billy will be so nervous!! Lil baby doesn't know how to behave!

S/o has to give him tutorial how to act like normal human and not 3rats in trench coat

Perents will be... alarmed to say the least... like really?? You could pick anyone but you picked oversized goblin?? Wow s/o

If s/o has younger siblings, he will bite them btw

Usually perents want to have grandchildren but oh god oh no not with this guy please s/o think about it!!

Billy vibes tbh he likes s/o perents they goofy. He also ate raw pasta. All of it

He told s/o dad that he wants lego for chrismas btw

Micheal Myers

How much you drank to think thats a good idea

Soo you telling me you bf is a serial killer?

At least he won't say anything rude, and s/o perents are too intimidated to say something rude about him🥰peace

Micheal just stares really, hes harmless for now

Yes s/o mom will call them to make sure that they aren't kidnaped and this all stuff is acually consensual

Live laugh love dont get stabbed by Michael

Yall can't even eat a dinner together 😔my guy looks like npc. Like yall just sit nicley and my homie just🧍 he doesn't even eat he just looks at yall, he totally judges their outfits

Hide your pets away he might eat them. You have pet hamster? What hamster?

Jason Voorhees

Omg homeboy is stressed! What if they don't like him:((

At first their perents were intimidated by him, but s/o's mom and him got along very fast! They are baking cookies together! Also if s/o has smol siblings or animals o my god he is bff with them instantly

Their mom and him acually got along faster than s/o with jason when they met first time!

Helps with carring heavy stuff... you bought new fridge? Call up son-in-law jason to help out (s/o mom has him named like that in contacts in phone)

Perents kinda wonder where he lives, when s/o told them that he has vintage cottage in Forest they started to think that hes rich or something

S/o perents already hope that yall get married

Asa emory

My dude bought suit for that appointment

He promised not to talk about skinning people while yall are eating dinner. He is so dreamy

Got along very well with s/o's dad, they are talking about fishing or something idk what dads are into lol

Almost fell asleep when their mom was talking

I WANTED TO WRITE " when their mom was talking about that she wants grandchildren" BUT ITS SOUNDS WAY FUNNIER THAT WAY

He was scared to eat dinner, it looked.... suspicious... he never trusted cheesy lasagna

Anyways Asa and their dad are besties now, they will go fishing next week

He cried in car after meeting "S/O IM NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN IT WAS SCARY IF I HEAR YOUR MOM SAY ANYRGING ABOUT GRANDCHILDREN AGAIN IM GOING TO DOX HER SO HARD SHE WONT EVEN HAVE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THEM"

I didnt write any headcanons for few weeks i hope it was good or at least readable

[weneeya]

Hiii ! Hope you doing amazing ! Could you write a Reader x Itto, where Itto keep loosing some scarabutto battle and other to everyone and he start to get frustated so to cheer him up we decide to play against him (probably at hide and seek and let him win)

so frustrated w/ itto m.list | rules

note. hello there! thank u sm for ur request, it's so silly and adorable omg I love it! hope you'll enjoy it <3 feel free to request, the box is still open :)

Itto was always happy, the type of guy to be cheerful all the time and to let nothing bring him down, or at least almost everything. He was in a good mood most of the time and people, especially children, loved him for that. But today was apparently too much for him. 

He kept losing again and again during those scarabuttos’ fights, and even if it was against his dear friends, Itto started to have enough. His smile was slowly disappearing everytime he was losing another fight, and soon he didn’t seem to have fun anymore. It was so frustrating ! Why cannot he win for once? 

You were here, cheering for him even though he wasn't winning a single time. But you kept going, not wanting to give up on him. Until he came closer to you, with frustration obviously readable on his face. 

“Stop it, it’s useless. I’m such a loser…” he said, eyes looking down on the ground. You frowned slightly when you saw him. No, there was no way you would let this sweet boy think that he was a loser! You looked at the other people being here, mostly children, asking them to leave without a word. Soon, you and Itto were completely alone. 

“Come on Itto, let’s play something together, mh?” You offered, and he didn’t even answer, playing with a rock on the floor. He really was such a big baby. You put a hand on his arm, a smile on your lips. 

“What about… hide & seek? Go hide!” You pushed him slightly and, even if he didn’t seem very thrilled by the idea, he left to go hide somewhere. You faced a tree, starting to count out loud, very slowly so he would have the time to hide. When you finally turned around, saying that you were coming for him, you couldn’t believe it. 

Itto was very obviously behind this rock. You could see his horns from above, and you thought that a child would be better than him at hiding. But your plan was to make him feel better, and nothing would go between you and your plan. 

“Itto? Ittoooo? Where are you?” You started to shout, acting like you couldn’t see him at all. You started to walk everywhere except near that rock, exaggerating about the fact that he was so well hidden. You stopped close to the tree where you had previously counted, hands on your hips. 

“Fine, you won! I can’t find you!” And in a minute, he was standing, all smiley. He laughed before he came closer to you. He put his hand on your shoulder, his smile shining like the sun itself. 

“Haha! Guess I’m stronger at hide & seek,” he said, crossing his arms on his chest. Itto started blabbering about how strong he was, acting all proud like he wasn’t so frustrated ten minutes ago. But you couldn’t do anything else than stare at him with a smile. 

You were so fond of him, even though he was probably the stupidest man you’ve ever met. In fact, maybe it was part of his charm ; or at least, what made you fall for him all those months ago.

itto is the himbo of all the himbo I love him sm stupid cutie boy

[neetily]

Need a hand? — (SDV) Sam

— ✧ warnings: Hand & Finger Kink, Oral Fixation, Choking, Vaginal Fingering, Scent Kink, drool, saliva, Praise Kink, Premature Ejaculation — ✧ word count: 3,335 — ✧ genre: smut (18+)

— ✧ A/N: reposting from my old account since i was asked to! formatting might be off, but it's still readable.

It’s a late cool Thursday night in the middle of Fall. Your animals have already been seen to and sent to bed, your crops picked and watered for the next harvest, and so what else is there to do on a middle of the week day when all chores are finished? Why, help Sam with music writing of course.

He had asked you at the beginning of the week for help regarding his bands newest song lyrics using the excuse that both Sebastian and Abigail have been too busy to lend a hand and he’d appreciate an outsiders opinion on what they had so far. Of course you said yes, glad to be of any help to any of your neighbours but especially for a close friend like Sam.

When you had accepted he silently swallowed the fact that he doesn’t actually need help with the lyrics, and is instead using this as a ploy to spend some time with you, but you didn’t need to know that. Both Seb and Abigail were more than available to help, but he had ‘forgot’ to ask them. Similarly, they 'forgot’ to help, both friends aware of his infatuated plans.

Being a farmer is busy work, he understand this, and so the guilt that creeps up his spine as you welcome him into your log cabin for the night, tail between his legs as you lead him to your bedroom is something he chooses to ignore. You seem to genuinely want to help, and here he is taking time out of your precious schedule for his own selfish gains.

What he can’t ignore, however, is how heavy your scent fills his senses once seated at the head of your bed. He should have accounted for it, really, but it takes him by surprise the minute he enters your bedroom. It’s instantly his new favourite scent, and when you briefly leave to grab some drinks he takes the opportunity and runs with it, shoving his face against your sheets and sharply inhaling.

Bad move, he’s quick to think. He’s had a crush on you for a while now and he knows it’s painfully obvious to everyone in town. He can only hope that it isn’t as clear to you, but you’ve probably already caught on to his true intentions. Ever insightful, he’s trying his best not to come on too strongly. It’s just- you smell so good, has him salivating, drool pooling in his mouth at the thought of being wrapped up in your scent. Arousal drips from his tip but your footsteps pull him back to reality prompting him to sit up perhaps a bit too straight too quickly for it to look natural. Thankfully you don’t mention it. Whether it’s out of pity or genuine obliviousness does not matter to him.

“So, could you play the melody for me?” You ask when returning with the drinks. “Might help with the lyric writing, you know.” You’re blushing after those words, as if there are hidden meanings between the lines but Sam is too fried by his previous actions to analyse. Instead, he nods, dragging his guitar up to his crossed legs on the bed. At least this way his growing erection could be hidden until he gets his shit under control.

You’d asked him to bring his guitar along for the purpose of helping, and though he’s confident in his skill to, you know, play the guitar seeing as it’s literally his job, his fingers twitch against the strings as you sit opposite of him. You pass him his drink and he gulps it down, the ice cold water shocking his body enough to steel his nerves a little.

“Right. Ya ready?” His voice is shaky and it’s embarrassing enough to cause a faint blush upon his cheeks. You smile in return and nod.

“Let’s hear it.”

A second or two passes as he prepares himself, strumming randomly in an effort to stall what he thinks he might fail. But, when he looks back at you and soaks in your encouraging eyes he feels more determined than ever. Time to show off- help, he means.

With a few fumbles at the start Sam easily slips into his groove, the new song being a bit slower paced compared to his bands previous tracks, but intricate nonetheless. His head is down, focused intently on completing his song for you seeing as this is the reason why he’s here, however midway through he tilts his head up out of curiosity, seeking your reaction to his new sound. And oh what a sight he sees.

You’re sat there staring intently at his fingers, switching between his two hands as he plucks and pulls on the strings, pride swelling in his chest at the though that just maybe, perhaps, you like his hands. He watches are you lashes flutter when the song picks up pace, how you toy with your lips and bring a finger up to you mouth in what he thinks, hopes, is amazement when he pulls off the hardest section effortlessly. And by extension, when his fingers play the strings faster. A devious smirk finds its way to his lips, ego boosted under your stare, tongue poking at the side of his cheek at the way your lips remained ever so slightly open in your gawking.

He’s resolved in his ability now, comfortably finishing up the last few notes of the song and awaiting your reaction. It’s lagged, and he struggles to contain his giddy heart at your flustered state.

“W-wow…” You stutter, and he thinks that you sound better than any song he’s ever played. “That was, um, really good, Sam.” You cough, looking away from his hooded gaze.

“Yeah?” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice and he hopes to God you pick up on it, wants to make you blush as hard as you make him, wants to provoke you further into submission. “Ya really think so?”

You hum at him, head hung low and bottom lip dragged between your teeth. You’re so cute when your shy, and it does something terrible to him, cock springing more to life at this new power imbalance. He’d hoped it’d have died down by focusing on his guitar, but thanks to your reaction he hadn’t a hope in Hell of calming down now.

He sets his guitar aside, fiddling with his fingers indecisively before murmuring fuck it under his breath. If you don’t like what he’s planning, he knows you’ll say so. Knows at least you aren’t afraid to tell him exactly what you think when it counts, this past year and a half he’s spent with you confirming that. So, without warning he shifts in front of you, moving closer so that he’s sat directly at your own crossed legs. His hands pick up your own, and he’s so gentle in his grasp. Despite being a hard working farmer, your hands are surprisingly soft compared to his calloused guitar tips and he can’t stop his wandering mind. Thinks about how good they’d feel wrapped around his cock, how small they are and how his own completely encase them. Bony, just like his own, and he doesn’t want to let go.

“Thanks ’s much.” He beams, big bright grin tugging on his cheeks at your shy praise. He hopes he’s affecting you as much as you are him and when he takes a peek he’s pleased to know it’s true.

You’re staring at his hands again, brows furrowed and all, and he has to turn it up a notch. Lust straining in his pants at the fact that just his hands have this much of an effect on you.

He removes one hand from your own and places it upon your cheeks, pushing stray strands of hair behind your ear. And though it may be cliché and a little awkward, he’s beyond caring after hearing your very audible gasp. It sets off something deep in his abdomen, cock twitching at the sinful sound and he yearns for many many more of those gasps.

His thumb rests against your cheek and he watches as your chest huffs with each struggled inhale. To your credit, he’s not doing much better either. Butterflies fill the space in his lungs and the room suddenly feels much too small. He knows he’s not hiding his attraction very well, especially considering how hard his cock is from just a few brief touches and how on display he’s made himself, but you seem to actually be enjoying the show too.

He gulps, fighting between his rational brain and his aching cock. Sure, he loves seeing you in this teased state. Goes straight to his cock when you’re physically unable to look at anything but his long fingers and large hands. But, he doesn’t want to scare you off. Doesn’t want to be that creepy guy.

But when you place your free hand on top of his holding your other, he thinks you’ve made the decision for him. Is ecstatic to know you’re at least attracted to him enough to accept his advances. He might have a chance, right?

His thumb moves to rest against your bottom lip, heart racing as you finally peer up at him and he almost cums on the spot. Big dewy doe eyes that beg for more, and who is he if not a giver? He tugs at your lip gently, dragging it down and watches in awe as your tongue slightly pokes out over it, a string of saliva connecting his thumb to your mouth. No words are said, but he supposed they don’t have to be, not when your body is doing all the talking he needs.

He’s on autopilot at this point, and guesses you must be too. Without too much thinking he dips his thumb into your inviting mouth, stares at your lips as they immediately wrap around his digit only to draw out a low groan from him at the feeling of your tongue against it. Briefly imagines it as his cock, said cock throbbing in response.

“Careful.” He cautions, and you smile at his words. It’s not like you can reply verbally, so instead you swallow up more of his thumb, suckling gently on it and it’s a shame that he already feels like he’s reached his limit because you look so fucking pretty like this. All soft and compliant, yet still knowingly mocking his weaknesses. It’s hot. It’s almost too much, and he knows only you can make him this weak with such few touches.

He visibly shudders at your ministrations on him and pokes another finger into your mouth. And then another, and withdraws his thumb. Lets you lick and suck at them while he tends to his hard on that’s just begging for attention. Digs the heel of his palm against his tip and folds in on himself at how good it feels. He’s much too sensitive thanks to your tongue and it definitely shows in the way he’s panting for more.

You pop off his fingers and drop his hand, a thin few stretches of saliva leaving you connected to him. “You good?” You inquire, matching your question with a cocky eyebrow and a slanted grin. He’s in love with the change in your demeanour, finds it exciting that you’re just as turned on as he is.

“No, I- actually, ’m not doing ’s good.” Sam laughs, head over heels for you, completely captivated with the full body blush you’re wearing. It’s not a particularly warm night, but he’s certainly overheating. “What 'bout you?”

Through a sigh you grab at his wet hand and drag it towards your cunt, the saliva that’s left on his fingers pressing directly against your own soaked through shorts. It causes him to grip at his cock with his other hand in an effort to last longer, but his fists squeezes a bit too tight and has the opposite effect. Best to leave it untouched for now.

“What is it?” He inquires through gritted teeth, even though he knows exactly what you want. It’s a game, and he’s happy to hear you play along.

“Your fingers, please.” You ask simply, and he admires how honest you’re being. Can taste the want in your voice, and he’s more than eager to give. He only wishes he was able to look at your face, but his eyes remain glued to your cunt. Specifically stuck on the growing wet patch, of which he’s unsure is your own slick versus your saliva, but it drives him crazy regardless, lust fuelling his next actions.

With nervous hands he prompts you to lay back at the foot of your head, carful to reposition both you and himself so that you’re comfortable. The way you look up at him fills him with anxious desire, all blushed and delicate, and he wants to look after you so well.

Once you’re down and seemingly ready he whispers a faint “Well, since ya asked ’s nicely…” before carefully dragging down both your shorts and underwear together. He helps you raise to lift them off your legs only to carelessly throw them to the side, leaving them a mess on the floor. He thinks he should have been more gentleman like, but you have him hooked on a string, hungry for more, and so when you hesitantly close your legs upon being laid bare he can’t help but let out a frustrated sob.

“Please, baby. Need ’t see ’t help.”

You look to the side, away from his frowning features before slowly opening up for him, and he wonders why you’re so self conscious the moment he sees your cunt.

“Wow.” He sounds breathless, and truth be told he is. “Look at ya, ’s pretty- an all for me?”

He lowers his frame to be eye level with your pussy, salivates at how wet you are. He hears a small squeak at his breath fanning over your lips unintentionally, and so decides to do it on purpose. Oh how he loves the sounds you make.

Once again he inhales your scent, and though this is a much stronger - and different - smell, he loves it all the same. Wants to eat you up, lick you dry, but he did promise you his fingers. Saves the thought for a later date.

He repositions so that he’s hovering above you, one hand to the side of your head while his prominent hand lowers to your cunt. There’s a restless tension in the space left between you both, and he makes you squirm as he leaves you hanging.

“Sam-” You choke on your words, his thumb pressing lightly against your clit as soon as you started to speak.

“Oh, ’m sorry.” He taunts, boyish grin dripping through his words. You know he’s not, and he’s not hiding it well with the way his tongue wets his lips the moment your hands grip at his shoulders for stability. He’s well aware it’s not quite what you had in mind when you asked for his fingers, but he’ll get there. Wants to make you beg for it, get as needy as you’ve made him when he’s had to spend all those nights alone fucking his fist to the thought of you. A little payback, if you will.

Plus, he wants to drag this out for as long as possible. He’s thought about this moment far too many times to count, and he can’t quite believe it’s happening on this chilly Fall night. It’s not a special day by any means, but it is now, forever etched into his spank bank for months to come. Each pant, each moan you let slip he eats up, matching yours with his own in sheer desperation for you.

He’s rubbing much too slow circles on your clit, can see it’s frustratingly close to what you need and yet still not enough by the way your eyebrows knit together, how every time he picks up speed only to slow down again he can feel your fists ball up a little tighter on his shirt.

“Sam, please-” You look back to him, mouth agape and eyes pleading to finally give you what you’re seeking. If he hadn’t fallen for you already, this surely would have made him.

“Shh.” He coos, sweat collecting in his hair as he concentrates on giving you just enough to leave you hanging. “I know, got'cha, don’ have ta worry.”

And yet he’s not cruel, and he’s certainly not strong enough to not listen when it comes to you.

Slowly, slowly, he stops rubbing your clit in favour of dipping his fingers lower, collecting slick on his way down to your opening. He watches your face contort in pleasure as he pushes a digit in, his pace gradual as he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way.

You immediately keen, lips forming a tight line as you whine for him and his hips buck at the sound alone. Once, twice, thrusting in urgency and yet he offers himself no relief. No, he wants to focus completely on you despite his stuttering hands and stammering hips.

He works his finger in and out of you gently, curls it right at the end to offer some respite in his teasing. His fingers are long, far longer than your own and he’s quick to pick up on your moaning and writhing that you want- no, need more.

Another finger is added, the two of them still curling in on you but mixed with a faster pace and he has your back arched ever so slightly into him. He feels dizzy, longs to see you like this every day. Face scrunched up, mouth gasping, trembling legs as he kneels over you. You’re dripping, slick gushing out at his every entry, and he struggles to decide on where to look. Your blissed out face or your sopping cunt. He flashes between them both, intent on increasing the speed at which he fucks his fingers into you. Even if only to selfishly hear and watch you cum on his fingers.

You let our a particularly loud moan as he brings back his thumb into play, rubbing harsh circles on your clit as well as fingering you, and it proves to be too much to handle for you.

He think you’re trying to call his name, but your sorry attempts at doing so only egg him on to fuck you harder, faster, convinces him to wrap his free hand round your neck. He’s mindful enough to not squeeze too hard, but the surprised look you wear at the additional stimulus causes him to curse.

“Close?” He questions, though it’s barely audible over the uneven breaths he’s letting out. Your eyes roll back and he feels your walls tighten around him, his cock begging for release that he has to will off until you cum first.

It doesn’t take long, not when he decides to choke you just a little harder at the first sign of your end approaching. He urges you on with a chaste kiss to your cheek, and soon enough you’re clamping around his fingers. It’s tight, and so so hot that Sam also cums with you, his own pants stained and soiled without even getting touched. He makes sure to let go of your throat as you cum, wanting to actually hear you come undone because of him and you do not disappoint. You’re loud, gasping, head thrown back and gushing all over him when your orgasm hits. And even when you come down, you’re still heaving, body tired.

Sam stays quiet as he cums, keeps an eye open in favour of watching you. Besides, it’s a little embarrassing to cum prematurely like this but you’re quick to catch on, a breathless laugh filling the room when Sam removes his fingers from your cunt.

“Maybe next time we can focus on you, yeah?”

And Sam likes the sound of that.

[sciderman]

Hiii I love your work & Just genuinely Curious. If you got to make a Deadpool movie, Fox backing you up and all. What would it be like or about? Would it be an original story or adapt certain storylines like how Andrew & Tobey did with Spidey? Any specific actor in mind for Wade? Idk just again curious how a Sci made DP film would be

oouugh... my dream deadpool movie is honestly the first deadpool movie but with like. some changes. not even major changes. even ryan can stay. i can't really think of anyone i'd like to replace him – i've always been kind of bad at fan casts - my imagined wade wilson is so specific, i don't think there are any actors that could come close, no sir. i think i'd do the origin - as is - i kind of like the flipping from present to past motif they have – i'd probably keep more scenes they had in the script in the final film that they wound up cutting – i've revolved it in my head, really, how i'd fix that first deadpool movie, and really - first, i'd keep this scene in:

and i'd shift the ending so that wade just... doesn't get the girl at the end. vanessa walks away. because he's become something else. and actually, a guy like deadpool shouldn't get the girl. he saves her, he saves the day, but actually – becoming deadpool, and becoming so wantonly violent and you know, becoming the exact kind of killing machine he did not want to be – 

oy.

i feel like the film wanted to set up this theme that wade needs to be better than this. that he desires to be better. but when he becomes deadpool he spirals back into old violent habits because he deems himself unloveable and does everything in his power to make himself "loveable" (aka attractive) again for vanessa. but what he doesn't realise is that it's not his appearance that does that – it's his actions.

so i think my perfect deadpool movie would be that first deadpool movie, but committing to the theme that actually, just because wade was dealt a shitty hand doesn't mean he has to be a monster. and that his violence isn't something funny or romantic. and that he can change. instead of us seeing this guy who clearly wanted to escape violence... being pushed back into violence and what's worse, being rewarded for it.

it's such a weird, twisted moral attached to the first deadpool movie and i'm constantly thinking about it. i remember the first time i read the leaked script, back in like, 2012, i said: "it's so good, but dear god i hope they change the ending." and they didn't. they just did not. and so when i first saw the deadpool movie i was so thrilled but. when the credits rolled i kind of audibly sighed too. because wade shouldn't get that ending. not yet. not until he does the work.

i also would've given vanessa her powers. or i would've at least teased her powers. i think having it be a surprise that wade didn't know is a delight. save it for the sequel, but tease it. or, honestly – the original script kind of did tease it. like, it's very readable that vanessa could be a shapeshifter, in the original script. she's shapeshifter-coded.

i think i wouldn't do a deadpool movie without first doing it as an origin – the set-up is so important. i don't have any sort of grand plotline i'd do with wade. maybe i'd love to write a cable and deadpool movie – or an x-force movie – god, i want an x-force movie so bad. but honest to god, there's not really any plotlines i'm eager to adapt for the big screen. wade wilson has decidedly less interesting villains and storylines than spider-man has, unfortunately. like, sorry. all his villains kind of are stupid. they've really tried to give him villains but, dear god. the best villain he's ever been up against is his ex-wife. and i don't know, i don't think i particularly want to see shiklah in the movies. i think i'd much rather see grounded, personal stories with wade – ones that don't deal with monsters and supernatural beasts – but, with other mutants, i guess.

if i were to pitch a new fresh deadpool movie in the existing deadpool franchise, save for an x-force movie, i'd love to see wade being recruited as an x-chaperone, and having to look after all these mutant kids but him being completely out of his depth throughout, and they drag him on some huge "world-ending-stakes" adventure but actually, the personal stakes stay very small, and it's almost a ferris buellers day off affair but with more spandex. these kids with their powers run amok and wade's trying to wrangle them but is also whisked away in all the fun of it and is actually worse than they are when it comes to staying well-behaved. they take over the macy's parade... maybe logan swoops in to yank wade by the ear... other x-men cameos abound. that's a deadpool movie i'd love to see. if i were to make a fresh one, that would be it. ferris bueller's day off, but with more spandex.

[prince-liest]

Your Angel/Lucifer fic was wonderful!! I’ve also read most of your 666 series and remember in the notes of one of the stories that you mentioned something about Alastor being aroace and that’s why he experiences things the way he does in your fics. I felt like that was portrayed very well!! I also felt like Lucifer not being that way, being overtly attracted to Angel was well written!! I was just wondering how you’re able to write both sides of the coin as well as you do?? I’m asexual and I don’t think I even realized I was writing all of my NSFW fics from an asexual perspective on things until I compared some of your works. I guess that kind of attraction just feels so out there for me it’s hard to imagine anyone feels that way?? I’m not sure lol…

In any case!! I was wondering if you had any tips on accurately portraying an allosexual character?? I feel way out of my depth now that I’ve realized there is a readable difference.

AH, thank you so much! It's funny that you say that because I was just thinking about how writing NSFW from Lucifer's POV after Alastor's POV is actually really funny to me given the sharp contrast in how they experience sex and intimacy. I'm glad that they come through properly!

When I write NSFW from the perspective of an allosexual character (which is most of my NSFW), I'm not really thinking, "Hm, this character is allo. How does that affect things?" Rather, I'm still very much just writing what I want to see. There's a text post that was going around the other day that said something to the tune of, "When I say that man is fuckable, that does not mean I want to fuck that man. / I want someone else to fuck that man for me." and I'm definitely channeling that, hahahaha.

Not all aro/ace experiences are the same and not all allo experiences are the same, so a lot of it comes down to how I think a specific character would feel as a whole rather than their sexuality alone. I wouldn't write Vox the same way I'd write Lucifer, either, and a not-insignificant part of Alastor's detachment comes from him being an asshole on top of being aroace, haha.

Nonetheless, some concrete things about how I write these particular characters differently:

When you are writing in third person limited like I do, what you describe is often a reflection of what the character is paying attention to. I spend relatively little time describing Vox's body from Alastor's POV. Describing Alastor's body from Vox's POV would be, uh, a time, let's just put it that way.

Lucifer very much thinks that Angel Dust is hot, and he will admire him, both plainly and when Angel takes advantage of his obvious attraction to do something cute

Lucifer wants to touch Angel Dust for reasons of "I think it would just be nice to touch him" rather than always for a specific goal (eg. Alastor mostly touches Vox to get fun reactions)

The goal for Lucifer is sex with Angel, not sex, and Angel is helping that happen or even messing around with Angel, and sex is helping that happen

When you're a guy who's mostly been having sex in the context of a loving, committed relationship for millennia, sexual contact is intimacy is vulnerability is emotional connection, and all of those things can get really tangled up in one another.

I've streamlined a lot of it into just code-switching into the characters' heads to the point where I don't really keep these things explicitly in mind, so I hope that this was at least a little helpful!

...Also, honest to god, I've just read a lot of porn, and most of it is obviously not of ace characters. Over the years, you pick up what you find hot, LOL.

[jalenay]

NWWD: Editing Update

Time for the Main Edit! 0 of 37 chapters done lol

i'm hoping to get this edit done in a month, no idea how realistic that'll wind up being but i gotta start with a goal. if you want some more detail on my personal editing process see below

also includes the reader name reveal, because i don't think i've shared that anywhere yet

my editing process, when i hav the time and i'm not rushing to post, is that i print out the chapters--in a different colored ink and in a different font--and hand write my edits with a red pen. then i type the edits up after.

there are a couple reasons for this but the main one is that i think i pick up and notice errors/places i want to revise etc when i see it on paper more than on a screen. this is something i noticed on my own but also something i've seen echoed elsewhere. the different font/color i definitely saw online first, put in to practice, and at least placebo-ed my way into think it helps me edit better too. the idea is that it makes things different but not too different and so u can pick up on stuff better. all of the fonts are still readable, but just not like times new roman/arial/calibri etc

obviously this takes a lot longer than just editing on the computer, but i think its worth it. also, i still do some longer revisions on the computer - i have a bad habit of just lik underlining or highlighting or just putting a star next to a paragraph i dont like as shorthand to myself for like "reword" "awkward phrasing" "confusing" etc and then 'typing up the edits' me is like shit, now i gotta actually come up with how to fix it lol so the typing up often takes the longer of the two.

if i'm really taking my time (in terms of like prewriting a lot before posting anything for a story/fic), i'll do this chapter by chapter, hard copy and typing all of one before the next. sometimes i'll do a bunch at once, especially if i'm also trying to fix overarching things. i think i did all of DSM hard copy and then typed it all? but i can't really remember. i've split NWWD into 5 mini-arcs and i'll probably do all the hard copy edits on the chapters in that arc and then type all of them up, etc. that way i can also send multiple completed chapters to my beta reader(s) at once and i can make sure that i can tackle some of the exposition structuring things i want to fix more cohesively across chapters (or so i hope).

wish me luck!

P.S. shout-out to one of the AO3 comments who noticed all of the sibling's names were plant names and speculated that the reader would get a similarly themed name! you were right!

[cotharach]

#COTHARACH: an affiliated flayn rp blog, loved and cherished by mik (20, they/them, gmt +8). a little fish swimming through the tides of a new world. rules and portrayal notes may be found under the cut!

RULES

ON AFFILIATION: this blog is affiliated with the officers academy. as such, personal blogs and rp blogs not affiliated with toa will be softblocked or blocked.

ON SHIPPING: i won't prioritize it but i am open to shipping with chemistry and ooc familiarity. my other caveats are that i am NOT open to shipping with non-students or non-minors and that i would like for things to be plotted out.

ON FORMATTING: i use small text with icons in my writing. if you have any issues with readability or would like me to change my format, please let me know! as for my personal preference: i would prefer it if my partners could use small text in their replies so i can read it more easily <3

ON OOC CONTACT: as tumblr's IMs have been acting up recently (for me at least) i prefer discord dms. my username is emblian! i am part of toa's discord server so you may also ping me there. i will let you all know now that, while i have grown more comfortable speaking with others ooc, i am still prone to bouts of anxiety and may pull back at any given moment. please don't take this personally! i may just need some space and time to get myself together.

ON REPLIES: my schedule has gotten considerably less free since i'm starting my semester so expect me to take anywhere from a week to a month to reply. i'll do my best to avoid having my partners wait for too long, of course, but i just want to be clear just in case you think i might be ghosting you or forgetting our thread. though that's not out of the question—i'm also a pretty forgetful person, so feel free to ping me if you feel that may be the case!

ON TRIGGER WARNINGS: i will use general trigger warnings for things such as gore, extreme violence, suicide, and other topics that i deem sensitive enough to warrant it. i will be using "tw // (word)" as a tag. if you have any triggers you'd like me to tag, please feel free to let me know through a dm. i also tag spoilers under "spoilers" but... for a series this old, i don't know what else there is to spoil JDFNLKDSJFG

ON OTHER FIRE EMBLEM GAMES: i am most familiar with three houses, thracia, heroes, and awakening but have a general grasp on most of the other games. it can only take me so far, though. for games/characters i'm not too familiar with, i hope you don't mind if i ask questions!

PORTRAYAL NOTES ( NOT SPOILER FREE) (IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS)

it has been 3 years since flayn was last here, so i understand that it may be confusing to have her suddenly drop in with all of the progress she's made. the explanation i have (detailed more in this post) is that she has been on a holy mission around fodlan this whole time.

my interpretation is based mainly on her in academy phase, once you've recruited her. so you can assume she has already been kidnapped and rescued and all that jazz.

three hopes revealed to us that flayn is prone to overexertion due to her actions in the war. this was something missing from my old interpretation that i'll be integrating into things i see fit.

people who know seteth may also be familiar with flayn; students of the blue lion house should also be familiar with her (and she will be similarly familiar with them) so you're free to skip the pleasantries and go straight to action. for ease of interaction, i assume that our muses have been introduced to one another in mission threads or settings that are official school business (i.e. an assignment), but do let me know if you prefer otherwise.

flayn is a nabatean, and while fellow dragonkin (or even particularly nosy humanfolk) may sense or suspect something up with her identity, it's a fact that won't be explicitly known by people who aren't seteth or rhea. so even if you and i know who she really is, your muse won't. having her reveal this to other people is not out of the question, but will take a long time and lots of trust.

similarly, her identity as seteth's daughter should be secret to everyone except for her, seteth, rhea, and other nabateans. so your muse wouldn't know the true nature of her familial relationship with seteth unless she says so (but this is something i feel she has less reason to reveal, as it implicates seteth too)

[totally-not-a-cannibal-hannibal]

To My Taste

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Part 3: Nightshade

Masterlist

⚠️Warnings⚠️ there are none really just a dinner at a cannibal's house.😅

The dialog might be a little awkward. I'm still getting use to writing with more then two people on a scene. I hope it's still readable. 🙏

          It had occurred to me I had no idea what the dress code was for this sort of thing. Were jeans too casual? What about jeans and a nice top? Would a gown be too formal? Unfortunately for me this thought came entirely too late because I was already standing at Dr. Lecter's door.

       I thought I heard a rustling behind me coming from a line of trees. I turned around to look for the animal causing the sound, it must have been big the way the twigs were snapping. My stomach dropped to the floor when I heard the door open behind me. It startled me so bad I must have jumped at least an inch off the ground.

         "My apologies Lydia, I did not mean to frighten you, what are you looking at?" Dr. Lecter says as he looks into the tree line with me. 

          "It's alright, I think you have a deer or something back here." 

       "Very possible, sometimes in the morning they come up and lick the condensation from the windows. Please come in." He says as he opens the door wider for me. 

        "Oh right, thank you." I say pulling my attention from the tree line. I step inside as he shuts the door behind me. His house was as well decorated as his office. It was warm and inviting while also looking like something from a magazine. 

         "Your dress is lovely." He says as he walks me to the kitchen where Will is sneaking grapes from whatever Dr. Lecter was preparing. 

       "Oh thank you." I say now glad I wore a more casual dress. Will was in his normal attire. As per usual Dr. Lecter out dressed us all effortlessly.

        "You actually made it on time." Will says with a small smile. 

        "You wouldn't believe how many alarms I had to set." 

       "Well we are glad you made it." Dr. Lecter says as he removes the bowl of grapes from Will's possession.  They seemed to be getting along a bit better. Will doesn't look like he hates his life when he's around him anymore. 

       "How are you holding up?" Will asks suddenly, I knew what he really wanted to ask me. 

        "Oh pretty well. Day by day." I say as I lean on the counter Dr. Lecter was using to cut up some fancy looking vegetable I wouldn't be able to guess the name of in a million years. 

         "Really? You got bags under your eye." Will says bluntly. I wasn't sure if this was Will being Will or if he was on edge from something else. I laughed at his comment. Dr. Lecter glaces at Will for a second then returns his eyes back to his vegetable cutting. 

       "Speak for yourself, Will."

       "I think we all could do with a little more sleep." Dr. Lecter interjects perhaps worried Will hurt my feelings.

        Dr. Lecter poured us all some sweet smelling wine then took us to the dining room. He sat Will at one side of the table and me at the other. It being his home he sat at the head of the table. 

       "The meat for our meal is still in the oven. My apologies Lydia I thought I'd have a little more time."

        "He thought you'd be late too." Will adds with a smirk. I laughed and nodded. It was a pretty close call but I managed to get out the door in time.

       We had some polite conversation while the food finished. Will made a few quips at Dr. Lecter. He was on a roll tonight. I always enjoyed talking with Will. His wit and dry sense of humor made up for what he lacked in tack. Dr. Lecter excused himself to work on the food, leaving just Will and I. 

      "I wasn't joking around in the kitchen, you look half dead." Will stopped himself before continuing. "That sounded bad, you look good, you just seem tired."

       "Oh Will, you think I look good? You don't look half bad yourself." I say in an overly flirty tone. He let out a chuckle but looked a little frustrated. 

        "I'm serious Lydia, you having trouble sleeping?" 

         "Will I'm fine really, I have been catching up on some TV with all my free time. I don't get to bed till 3 most nights. I sleep fine once I get around to it." This was of course a lie but I didn't need him worrying about something that will pass soon enough. 

        He looked like he wanted to press the matter but thankfully Dr. Lecter came in with three dishes. 

       "Will, for you and I have prepared cherry allspice glazed ham I have had in a slow cooker for 8 hours and Lydia for you I have charred cabbage with goat cheese raita and cucumbers with some garnishment." He sat down the dishes down for us. My meal looked incredible. So some colors and he even placed some flowers. 

         "Dr. Lecter this is too beautiful to eat. I say looking up at him. He takes his seat with a small smile. 

         "No such thing, and please Lydia call me Hannibal." He places a napkin on his lap and picks up his fork and knife. I followed his lead and put a napkin down. 

          One of the flowers looked so familiar to me but I couldn't place it right away. Then it hit me.

          "Hannibal, is this a deadly nightshade?" He looks over and nods. 

          "Of sorts, it's an eggplant cut to resemble a deadly nightshade. I wouldn't try and feed one of my guests something so sinister as a real poisonous flower." He says with a smile. There was a tone in his voice I couldn't place. I hoped I didn't insult him. Will leans up to look across the table at my plate. 

         "You made that yourself Hannibal? It looks real." Will praises. Hannibal's smile becomes a bit fuller. The compliment must have really meant a lot to him. I picked up the vegetable flower, sure enough the texture gave it away. It was so realistic looking I could hardly bring myself to try it. 

          "It's kinda spooky." I say with a grin as I pop the whole thing in my mouth rather unceremoniously, I had to be quick about it or my hand might not let me place it in my mouth at all. Hannibal watched for my reaction. Chewing it well I nod to him giving him a thumbs up. Once I dare to swallow it I begin to dig into the rest of my meal.

       The conversation moved to work, we took turns telling one another about odd cases we have worked on. My turn rolled around and there was just one that stuck out. 

         "In college my abnormal psychology professor had a hook up at a supermax prison and he set up some interviews for his students that wanted extra credit. It was random we drew straws and I got a man who killed 5. I can't remember his name but I can see his face as clear as day. He said God told him to kill these 5 men as punishment." The air grew thick as my tone naturally drifted to a more somber darker cadence

        "Punishment for what?" Hannibal asked as he finished his meal. 

         "He wouldn't elaborate further just that they knew what they did."

         "That's hardly odd. Religious delusions are relatively common." Will says looking across the table at me confused. 

         "Well that wasn't the end of it, 2 of the men he killed had priors for sexual misconduct with a child. 1 had a sealed record from his teen years that involved an attack of some kind and the last 2 had some pretty awful shit on their heart drives. It was just creepy, the situation was at least. He wasn't, he was really sweet actually. My partner who I was working on the interview with thought maybe he was actually getting some kind of info from the man upstairs." I chuckle a little as I take another drink of my wine. 

       "What do you think?" Hannibal asks, looking over at me. He seemed entirely focused on my story and appending answer. 

      "I think he was mentally ill. A sick man fallen victim to his own intrusive thoughts."

       "You said he was sweet?" Hannibal questions

       "He was, he was soft spoken. Seemed real gentle. He was a deeply religious man. He told me he prays for me every night, never said prayed for what." Hannibal stared at me for a moment. His face was stagnant, it was unreadable. What was he thinking? Why did his expression make me so uncomfortable? What was it?

        "Well he sounds very considerate." Hannibal said as he looked back to his plate. I couldn't stand how unreadable he was. I didn't like being at such a disadvantage in conversation. Is this what Will feels like with everyone? If so I understand why he acts the way he does when speaking to people.

         The conversation trailed to something a bit more lively as Will told a story about the time one of his dogs pulled him into the lake on one of his fishing trips.

         "I'm sorry Hannibal, can I use your restroom?" I ask as I stand up. 

          "Of course it's down the hall to the left." He says as he pours Will a bit more wine. I walked down the aforementioned hall. His home wasn't particularly large but nevertheless confusing all the same. He kept all his doors closed making my job of finding the bathroom in this maze much harder. I didn't want him thinking I was snooping around. I passed a door that had some kind of noise coming from it. I stopped and pressed my ear to it. It was a soft shuffling accompanied by drips. Was that the bathroom? The drip could be a faucet. I turned the knob to find it locked.

          "Do you need some help finding it?" Hannibal's voice seemingly came out of nowhere. I let out a pathetic yelp and turned to face him wide eyed. "I'm sorry Lydia, I really need to stop sneaking up on you." He seemed apologetic but also a bit teasing.

         "I'm so sorry you said on the right, right?" I say having to laugh a bit at my overreaction. 

          "No, very close though. It was on the left back down that hall, this is my basement." He says as he walks me to the correct door. 

          I thank him and go inside. Once finished I wash my hands. What could be making a sound like that in a basement? I try to remember what the outside of the house looked like. It didn't seem like the kind to have a basement. Did he put one in himself? I suppose a man like Hannibal had many reasons to need one, to keep wine, more storage space or even extra food. 

      I chalked my overly suspicious mood to being on edge from the attack still. All the same I had a nagging feeling about what's behind that door. 

        I walked out of the bathroom to see Hannibal coming up from his basement. He sees me and gives me a reassuring grin.

        "It's a good thing I checked, some wine had fallen off its rack. Made a bit of a mess I'm afraid to say." He says as he shut the door. So it was just a wine seller. 

      "Oh no I'm sorry. Would you like some help cleaning it up?" 

      "No no, the worst of it is fixed. There is broken glass down there still though. I wouldn't want you getting cut." He walked us back to the dining room where Will was still seated. He sat up a bit when we came into the room. "Please sit I will get dessert." 

       Will and I sat alone again. A part of me worried what he'd bring up next so I tried to beat him to the punch 

       "How was your meal?" I ask nonchalantly. He looked surprised by the question but nods.

        "Oh great I've never had a meal from Hannibal I didn't enjoy." He says as he leans back.

        "How many dinners have you guys shared? I thought you didn't like psychiatrists?"

       "Am I not allowed to change my mind about people? I thought you'd be happy. You and him seemed cozy after your hospital stay." Will almost sounded spiteful. Was he jealous of something?

       "The man sat with me for 3 days when you wouldn't even step in the room. We are going to be a bit closer than before. Besides, he's my psychiatrist now as well. Are you jealous or something?"

        "What? No, of course I'm not jealous. What would I be jealous of?" He stopped himself for a second and looked down at his hands in his lap. "And I'm sorry for not visiting you much. I was frustrated, it's not right of me to be but I was. You shou-" he stopped talking when he heard Hannibal's footsteps approaching. 

      "Am I interrupting?" He said as he placed the bowls of dark red ice cream in front of us. 

       "No, we were done." Will says looking over at me. Something about the look in his eyes told me he'd tell me what he wanted to say later. Hannibal didn't seem to want to pry. 

        "For dessert we have a pomegranate gelato I made this morning. It does have animal by-products but no meat." He gave me an encouraging smile as he sat down. The distinction was a bit odd, he knew I ate animal by-products. I just had goat cheese. 

      "It looks so good. I can't believe you made this at home." I say as I take my first bite. It was probably the best dessert I've ever had. Hannibal seems pleased with mine and Will's praise of the cold treat. 

       At this point Will had, had a few glasses of wine and didn't seem like he'd sober up in time to drive home.

        "I can drive you home, Will. It's only 20 minutes out of the way." I offer.

       "That probably would be a good idea." He said with a slightly embarrassing grin. 

        "Will you be alright to drive?" Hannibal asked.

         "Me? Oh yeah I have only had this one drink. I probably won't finish though, It's getting a bit late and the last thing I need is a DUI." I say as I take another bite. 

        My tooth crunches down on something hard and It takes everything in me not to spit it out immediately. I quickly grab for a napkin to be as discreet as possible. Unfortunately Hannibal seems to notice everything. 

        "Are you alright?" I nod and look down into the napkin. It was just a pomegranate seed. "I am sorry I thought I strained it more thoroughly than that." I feel my tooth with my tongue. My tooth was fine but something about the change in texture so suddenly set me on edge. It was the main reason I didn't eat meat. 

         "It's okay no harm done. It's still delicious." I go to dig back in but stop myself. Some of it had started to melt in the bowl. It looked just like thick coagulating blood. I got a flash of seeing myself in my bathroom mirror after the attack. I normally wasn't so squeamish. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to finish it. Would it be rude to offer mine to Will? He had already finished his. Hannibal's attention was on his own bowl. I point to my gelato and mouth to Will asking if he wants mine. 

        "No I'm alright you finish it." He says with a small hiccup. He wasn't even being so obvious because he was tipsy; this was him not picking up on the context clues that I was trying to be discreet. 

      "Did the seed ruin your appetite?" Hannibal asked. I didn't need to be able to read his face. His voice told me enough, he was disappointed. 

       I was trying to figure out which one I was more comfortable fessing up to. If I said it reminded me of my attack Hannibal might feel bad, if I say it was the seed he could feel guilty for not straining it well enough. I wasn't sure what was the lesser of two evils so I decided to lie. 

      "No no the seed was fine, I am just so full. That dinner was so good I'm afraid I didn't leave much room for dessert." He gave me a gracious smile and nodded. 

      "Well it was very polite of you to try to get through it." 

       "Of course of course, it was lovely, I'm just stuffed. Um, do you want help with dishes?" I try to change the subject as quickly as possible.

       "I invited you two here for dinner not for work." Will and I protested for a bit but he was adamant. The night winded down and Will had a few more drinks. I never knew him to be a drinker but he seemed to be enjoying himself. 

       We said our goodbyes and Hannibal walked us out to my car. 

       "Thank you so much for inviting me. It was an amazing night."

      "Of course you are welcomed back anytime." He said as he opened my car door for me. I was about to get in when he stopped me. 

        "I think your tire has gone flat." He says as he nudges it gently with his foot. 

        "Shit." I crouch down and pull out my phone to use as a flashlight. Sure enough all the air was gone. The tire wasn't slashed and the cap was on the spot you put the air in. I wasn't sure how it got flat. 

        "What's happening?" Will asked as he slowly made his way around to the driver side. 

      "Her tire has gone flat. I could drive you both home, or you both are welcome to stay the night. We can work it all out in the morning." Hannibal says as he closes my car door. Will looked at me like he wanted me to pick. 

      "If you don't mind us staying Hannibal, that might be easier for you."

       "It would be my pleasure to have you both stay the night." He said with a grin. He really was so accommodating. 

[ghoulsbeard]

tagged by @jiubilant and @everybodyknows-everybodydies to share a few lines from pieces and some comments alongside... challenging... thank you both kindly for the tag :]

passing it to @ghostwise @vakarians-babe @isayashai @ervona @nuwanders @mxssrelay @favoriteblogonthecitadel @tiny-banana-time @arcann @lavampira @nulfaga & anyone who’s interested feel free… @ me if you like ! :)

I pulled some from wips & hope that’s OK

line that made you laugh

enjoy the idea that borgakh has a taste of the infamous black briar brew & is unimpressed.. all this scheming and your mead isnt even good

(it’s “watery and overpriced” in the current draft but idr where i have that version)

line that makes you sad

oblivion wip.. there are probably sadder scenes afoot but this one was hard to write down.. :(

line that you’re proud of

wanted a line that walked the church with her and i think this one got pretty close

line you think could’ve been done better

dont know where i put it but there was some line in a rabbit trail doc of an mfx draft from when id convinced myself the endgame of 3 involved someone plummeting to their death… nice idea but the logistics are a nightmare

line that makes you want to punch a character

he gets worse than this unfortunately i didnt have the heart to dig for something nastier but farwil cannot ever catch a break

line that makes you go “awww”

wee short im working over with ms druzarath if i can get baurus’ voice somewhat right

was playing a little while ago and kept thinking how young they both are

line that contains an easter egg

this is a canonical tavern!!! its real and ZITHER! played there… conceived it as a ye olde gay hookups dive bar with baffling architecture👇

line that’s shocking

this was hard… nothing ive penned down really qualifies (at least nothing that’s readable).. like this isnt shocking at all to me but i put it here bc im hoping the whole scene will be gross and a little disturbing when the next draft is done

line you want to talk about more

I THINK.. steeples my fingers…. the armor that vivienne brings to the winter palace is twofold. some of it is cleverly made so it looks like a part of her formal outfit (accessories boots etc) and for the rest (esp the breastplate, which is worn beneath her dress) she wears it the entire time and has a well woven illusion in place.

i also think she has little glowing gold wisps of ambient magic that follow her around... 1) these keep her battle-ready, in case of an assassin or any other unexpected twist and 2) she is always in perfect dreamy lighting <3

the dress she’s wearing is this floofy sleeveless ball gown with a dozen or more sheer skirts layered over top of each other and a looser (to accommodate for the armor beneath) yet fitted bodice that’s embroidered with celestial and floral patterns in subtle gold thread ... cream at first glance but within the skirts are shades of very pale gold and sky blue and even a little warm rose and when the layers move against each other as she walks or dances, the colors subtly change… its most noticeable when she twirls on the dance floor… but the iron bull was carrying the gauntlets around for her <3

[woodchipp]

hello, this is out of the blue, but i just wanted to say that i stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and your opinions about OMORI are really refreshing to see, compared to what i usually see in the fandom (even tho i don't interact with it that much outside of my own work). you don't have to answer to this, but i feel like you're a person i can have an open discussion with when it comes to criticism. we know the game has a lot of issues regarding the plot, but i wanna add one more thing to that, one that i rarely see people discuss: the dialogue.

i like omori, but the dialogue is just... lacking. as a person who writes and makes comics, i have a saying: no matter how short the dialogue might be, it should always *mean* something. it should always entertain and add something to the plot or the character's personality or background (of course, not in an over the top way, but in a way that you can actually tell who's talking if you don't see their faces). the dialogue in omori is... long. i've watched many friends and streamers play and a big chunk of them complain about the dialogue's length. that shouldn't be a problem. a lot of it is meaningless and doesn't add anything to the plot and doesn't really establish anything about the characters. (flavour text can be fun if you know how to actually write it) i won't even mention sunny, who only speaks a sentence in the entirety of the game (it's not that deep and rewarding when the game can take you more than 20 hrs). i like silent protagonists, i really do, but i don't feel like this should have been an element at all.

to me, the best dialogue belongs to sweetheart because it is iconic and bold. i know the cast is kids, but come on now. when your entire cast has same face syndrome, can't you at least make their personalities and dialogue pop? especially in headspace when they are more like caricatures than real people, i suppose?

i don't know. i have a lot more to say but this is getting long! so yeah, just wanted to know what you think about the dialogue. i didn't type this to the best of my abilities, but i hope it's somewhat readable. hope you have a nice day!

No need to worry - you're absolutely right! In fact, I've briefly touched on the dialogue in the second part of my critique

The dialogue doesn’t sound authentic either - Hero hamfistedly espouses morals the way you’d expect a children’s show to while Aubrey’s conversation with Sunny on the swings on One Day Left has her dispense advice you would expect to hear from a clinical professional.

but couldn't elaborate further since I didn't know how to. You took the words right out of my mouth, so frankly, I have very little to add 😅

(of course, not in an over the top way, but in a way that you can actually tell who's talking if you don't see their faces).

I recall showing a friend of mine a conversation between 3 characters (Kel, Aubrey and Hero, I think) without the names and asking them to guess who the characters having the conversation were based on the lines alone.

They couldn't distinguish Kel's lines from Hero's. peak writing lmao

a lot of it is meaningless and doesn't add anything to the plot and doesn't really establish anything about the characters.

The most likely reason for this would be Omocat's apparent belief the characters are inherently loveable.

(Note the phrasing. They're stating the characters are loveable, as if it is an objective truth.)

They seem to have started from the conclusion of "My characters are wonderful" and worked backwards from there, assuming everybody's going to adore the characters because they do, so they didn't feel the need to put in the work to make them compelling/believable. And the dialogue, of course, reflects that.

It's funny they seem to have been right... for the wrong reasons. Sure, the game's main cast is loved by its fandom - if only because the fans see them as blank slates to project themselves onto.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Not going to reblog it in order to respond, but lets talk about piracy, specifically of books.

It's a fraught discussion. Many people take the black/white stance on it. I personally do not pirate, because I know the cost to authors. If piracy had been a thing in the xtian cult I grew up in, I probably would have. We were an hour away from the closest library. It wasn't safe for me to read the queer books I needed.

I've been poor enough (am now) where I can't afford books. I've been far enough away from a library that it wasn't a viable option. My library really doesn't have the books I want to read. I've requested them, but they haven't shown up. Some countries don't even have libraries. Some people can't read the works they want to because of external pressures.

There's more to it than good/bad.

Firstly, the most likely person to pirate a book is a cis, white, western male who makes 70k or more/year. That's just sheer entitlement and yes, it's wrong. Period.

But what about the poor people, the queer people who don't dare check out the queer books they need? What about, what about, what about... I get it. I really really do.

I'm an author whose books are pirated a lot. If I had a nickel/5 cents for every copy of my work that's been pirated, I wouldn't be edging on homelessness right now.

Some truths.

1. Most authors aren't wealthy. Most aren't even financially stable. Like any industry, there's the golden show ponies that make ridiculous amounts of money. Then there's the rest of us, who, if we're lucky, make 10k a year on our books. (I never have.)

2. It takes anywhere between 8 weeks of ridiculously long days to actual years to write a book. And these are niche, hard to acquire skills. Not everyone can write. I think almost anyone can learn how to write well, but it’s not inborn, and most people don't dedicate themselves to it. These are skills we've had to learn. So a person who pirates is also taking that from the author too.

3. Writing isn't easy. It's blood, sweat, tears, and so much time away from the people who love us to make that book. If there's no reward for us in it, why would we continue publishing? I wrote for myself far longer than I have for publication. People tell me I'm a great writer. If there's nothing in it for me beyond the joy of writing, why should I add the extra work of making my stories publishable? And there's sooooo much extra work and hours that go into that.

4. Piracy reduces the chance that that author can keep writing. It really does. We have to eat and pay bills like anyone else. Every single piece of great art we, as a species, have comes from people who had a place to live, money for supplies, and both time and energy to create. If you're living in poverty, like me, it can be nigh impossible to create. So you're taking that too. If you love an author's work, you're making it less likely they can either finish the series you've pirated books from, or even write at all.

5. Boycotting Amazon doesn't hurt Amazon, but it sure as hell hurts authors.

6. If you are in a position where piracy is your only option... email the author, their publicist, or their publisher and request a review e-copy. We'll usually send it in hopes of a review. It's likely to be cleaner and more readable than any pirated copy. Plus, it's legal.

7. If you have to pirate, at least have the basic decency to do something for the author in return. That can be a lot of things. Leaving a review at any site you can access that accepts reviews is probably one of the best. Reviews really do sell books for us. Good or bad reviews, it doesn't matter. Obviously, positive is better, but even a negative review can prevent another negative review by warning people of things they might not enjoy in the work.

Send them an email if you loved it. Writing is a lonely profession, and fan mail has absolutely kept me writing on hard days. It means a lot to get positive fan mail. (I've never even heard of an author who has asked where you got the book.)

Drop a dollar into their Kofi if you can. Or become a patron. Especially if you can afford it and love our work, you can help us keep writing that way too. If my patron were filled to the point where I could afford to write more, I could be easily getting 3 books out a year vs the 1 every couple of years I'm currently managing to do. And my books are free for my patrons.

Fan art can also be a nice thing to receive.

Important! Talk about our books with anyone who might possibly be interested (if it's safe for you to do so) word of mouth is still the best advertising there is. Mention them on your social media too.

8. Piracy is very far away from a victimless crime. You are (whatever your reasons) harming the author who wrote the book. Even if you weren't going to buy it, you're still encouraging people to rip the books and make them available illicitly.

9. I did mention most of us will send a copy out to those who ask for one, right? Especially if we're indie with little to no marketing budget. We're hoping you'll review it, but there aren't any reviews police. Most authors who are decent people will just send it and hope. (I've been harassed for reviewing a book before, so I'd be remiss if I didn't say there wasn't a risk of the author asking you about the review. It's considered incredibly rude to do so in publishing circles, but there's still some authors who will. Use a throw away email.)

10. Sign up for Netgalley and Edelweiss. These are sites where publishers put books up for requests for reviews. You request the book, (for free unless something has changed recently) then, if you get it, you're supposed to review it. But again, there's no review police. (Please do review if you can.)

11. If you do have access to a library, you can ask them to order it. A lot of the time they will. And libraries have to pay the author/publisher to license the work, so we get paid by libraries too. You're helping an author by using a library, not harming them.

12. Lastly, check your entitlement. The world we currently live in doesn't value art (and writing is art) enough to pay a living wage for it. If you want art, someone has to pay us to do it, because otherwise we can't pay the power bill. Or any other bills. Writing shouldn't be the sole province of the wealthy and well off. Yet, I've seen so many writers stop writing because they just can't afford to. I'm there right now. If you want a world where authors can afford to give our work away for free, start voting for things like social programs and UBI. So that we can create art without worrying about the bills.

I'll probably think of more later, but those are the basics.

Don't bother arguing with me. You know it's wrong to pirate. It's, as noted, something that some people need to do because of poverty or lack of access or, or, or. Unless it's a disability issue, just wanting the e-copy vs the paper copy your library has isn't enough of an excuse. You can email the author or get it legally from a reviewing site. And if you're one of the well off folks who pirate? Fuck you. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

You do not have the right to steal from authors for any reason, much less your convenience. Talk about privilege and entitlement.

There are extenuating circumstances, and there are also non-piracy ways to get books.